Our society is very much built on the assumption that as a woman, you will always be a mother at some point in your life, unless you are unable to have children because of an incurable condition. Have you asked yourself why this should be the case… should it be a choice, your choice?

I still remember reading old stories about women being sent back to their family for their inability to have children, being discarded like less valuable. The only calling in life, as a woman was to be a mother.

Today, we are changing this pattern by making our own choices irrespective of social conditioning.  Some women make the decision to have children and everything follows a plan. Others have found themselves pregnant and are then plunged into motherhood. There are women that have made a conscious decision not to have any children whilst other women are not able to conceive, no matter how much they try.

As a woman you are expected to keep on trying to conceive and never give up. If you are a mother, there is again an expectation to match that “2.5 children” statistic. If you only have one child, you are asked why not more. If you have more, you are asked why so many.

Why do we seem to be obsessed with fitting everyone in a box with a pretty label on it? Why are we trying so hard to fit ourselves in boxes like that? Science has already told us that, although we have a huge amount of similarities with each other, we are all unique individuals.

So why are we trying so hard to mask that uniqueness?  Is it that we need to break those preconceived patterns and ideas if not for our own sake than for the sake of our children? Change is always difficult and it’s almost never straight forward. Yet, it is so much needed!

Change starts with us, every single one of us.  Men and women, supporting each other with acceptance, love and joy. I have seen women attacking women about their decision to have or not have children many times, even when that decision has been taken away from them by life and circumstances.

It seems to me that we are so deeply hurt that we don’t feel comfortable in the presence of strong women. Women that forge ahead one step at the time regardless of what life deals them. We become the bully. Back in the box. Why should they venture outside of the pre-ordained path?

I have been blessed to have a child at a point in my life when I felt I was ready and consciously primed to be a mother. Well I thought I was all set… nothing can prepare us for becoming a parent. But that’s a subject for another day.

I am dreaming of and praying for a world where unconditional love and support is the norm not the exception. A world where no one steps upon others, or is put down by others to just make them feel better. Just take a second to think – a world that is inclusive not exclusive and values our uniqueness as a gift and not as a measure of how much or how little we fit in. Unconditional love and support does not come easy but the more we practice the better we get. I would love to know what kind of world you dream of or pray for.

Leave me a comment.

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