When we are deep in the healing process we can feel alone and disconnected as we are going deeper and deeper into the void.
We feel vulnerable and emotions are running high.
It feels raw and painful as we bring things into awareness so we can heal bit by bit.
We feel vulnerable as we are sensitive to our environment and people around us as we are pushed out of our comfort space.
It is in times like these that we have to remember the universe is supporting us in beautiful ways and to focus on the light as we navigate the darkness.
Vulnerability takes courage.
For many years I valued courage but tried my best not to show up as vulnerable.
Because vulnerability is a weakness.
So I thought.
Until I started looking deep within, gathering my broken pieces and holding them close to my heart to feel, to cry, to scream, to laugh, to heal.
And as I was finding lost or suppressed parts of myself, I got a glimpse of what “wholeness” is.
Of who I truly am.
Learning to love all of me one piece at a time.
Learning to embrace all of me one piece at a time.
Learning to be vulnerable one step at a time.
Learning to open my heart one petal at a time.
Open your heart to the wonders of the universe.
There is a longing inside of us, one that is deep and at times hidden.
A longing to connect, to be seen, heard, held.
To be witnessed.
This can be an all-consuming fire which triggers us so deeply that we go looking for that connection.
We think we found it but it’s still not fully there.
So we carry on looking, going from one thing onto the next, from one person to another.
Every time we feel any level of connection we hope that’s the one.
And every time this fails to be the one we feel more and more frustrated and disheartened.
And we give up.
We stop looking.
We feel hurt, alone, completely disconnected.
We distract ourselves with anything we can find so we can dim that fire.
But the fire is still there.
There is nothing more to lose so we give meditation a go. We find prayer. We give ourselves time to smell the roses. We journal. We talk. We cry. We walk.
We start being present with ourselves and our life.
We find gratitude.
We feel deep love for life.
We feel part of life.
We go deeper into our hearts. We feel no separation so there is no space left for disconnection.
And we realise that we were looking in the wrong place as the world outside of us is just a mirror of the world inside of us.